Thursday, July 9, 2015

Love , unconditionally

This post is in relation to a topic - what if one day your son/ daughter announces he/she is a gay and how would you react to it. # loveislove.
I took the liberty of saying it in a fictional form as a story but I wholly endorse the views of the mother.

                                                          Love , Unconditionally 


It was around 11' o clock at night and I am relaxing in my cosy bed , reading Elif Shafak's  -" Forty rules of love" , being  transported into another world - of love , poetry and dreams. My eyes are droopy and ready for 8 hrs of beauty siesta when there's a quaint knock on the door. I look up only to find my handsome heart monster, my sonny boy , standing . He is not his usual chirpy effervescent self. He wants to talk to me , privately ,just the two of us. I am worried but putting a brave facade , asks him if all is well? Mom , I need to talk to you.....I have a confession to make, he says softly. Confession .......

Thousands of thoughts cross my mind in a jiffy.....what would it be.....puzzled , I am looking at his face. His expressions change.....from frightful and scared , he looks worried now. How will his adorable mom take the news that he is about to give her..........

    Mom, you please sit.....have a glass of water , he runs to grap the glass from the nightstand and passes it . Instead, I hold his hand , keeping the glass down. I look at him , in eye.....Mom, his voice almost trembling, I am.....( he stops).......what ....I ask ? almost panicked .

He gets up and walks to the window, turns ,looks at me......." I am a homo......gay" . Have I heard it right?  He steals a glance from the corner of his eye... I am stunned....

  I don't know what to say, I go numb. How could my child be 'that'....he was sensitive, intelligent ,compassionate , a topper throughout.....studying in a top university in the U.S.....was there some problem with my upbringing ? How could I go so horribly wrong?  What if everyone comes to know tomorrow ? How will they react? Will they make fun of my baby? Tears came rolling down...
Meanwhile, my little man had his gaze fixed on 'mom' , silently.

Could I make him change his mind, his choice.....after all he was a mama's boy. I could take a promise from him, making him swear on me, to not indulge in 'such things '. I knew he would bow down, he loved me so much.....

.......so, couldn't he be thinking on the same lines....mom loves me too much , to dissent. I had got my answer....love unconditionally ....this was the golden rule , I had lived by all my life. When I took my little one in my arms, for the first time I vowed to love, care and protect him. He has confided in me , knowing his mother loves him unconditionally and would understand. Now, it was my turn.
After all , aren't parent like the solid ' Rock of Gibraltor' you could fall back on, supporting you , always. My son has made a choice, I will stand by it no matter what. His happiness means the world to me.

Mom! Don't cry , whispered my baby....I hugged him, tightly. Mom , mom....was all he could say...I love you , dear!  I am with you...I  replied...He hugged me even tighter, tears dropping .

Love is the foundation of life. Love is pure and pristine. Love unconditionallyEven Elif Shafak says in  'forty rules of love' - " Love will find you.......you will find it in the most unusual places".
Love is love , no matter what.

Curvy-shurvy: Happy girls are the prettiest

Curvy-shurvy: Happy girls are the prettiest:                                 Audrey Hepburn once said " happy girls are the prettiest". And yes , it is true in every sense...

Happy girls are the prettiest


                                Audrey Hepburn once said " happy girls are the prettiest".

And yes , it is true in every sense.....you may be wondering why I am being so philosophical today. Well , I keep getting mails and messages as to how come I am so confident even after being voluptuous and curvy . Day before , a message came on my blogpost , which said I should follow a certain blog if I was worried about my increasing weight. Hmmm, all i would like to say - thanks a lot for being concerned .

 My confidence comes from the fact that I am content with my body and am in a happy space. I embrace it with all my love . No, I am not supporting unhealthy living .....I am a firm believer in being fit and leading a healthy life. I , do not drink or smoke , am a vegetarian , practice yoga , exercise and eat healthy ( most of the times). I love my body unconditionally , inspite of the flaws , as it is responsible for letting me bring two beautiful babies in this world. Being a mother transforms your body , mind and soul...

         Let me tell you something , a person who is a few pounds extra is generally the first one to notice it and has even tried losing it ( and failed) . You don't have to remind him/ her every time and every where. This weight tamasha is gaining so much momentum these days. You enter a party and there is alway a 'someone' to tell you , how much weight you have gained / lost.

    A couple of years back, I went to a party wearing a pink organdy ( cotton which is heavily starched to keep the fabric stiff ) saree , my cousin complemented me and then said " mom never allows me wear cotton Sarees, if you can look so good in it , even i can carry it well ". I retorted back " what's stopping you and why isn't aunty allowing you"? I was dumbstruck when I heard what she had to say,......"no one is going to marry you , if you look like a pig in a cotton tent" her mom would always say, pointing to her weight which was just a couple of kilos on the higher side. Of course ! In our country , a girl has to be "fair and lovely " (read - tall ,thin etc) to get married.

There are so many other attributes which are important other than vanity....being sensitive , respectful, compassionate.....

When I started this blog , I very well knew I may have to deal with such topics.....then too I went ahead . The first step is acknowledgement and  next is acceptance . Yes ! I have embraced my body with all it's flaws....it's imperfections . It's mine and I love it .Don't  feel the need to be like 'someone' or to 'belong' somewhere . We all are different and that's the beauty of it .

 Yes ! I want to be fit and healthy but not because " I have to" but "I want to ".






















   
                   Happy girls are the prettiest

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Curvy-shurvy: Pastel punch!!!!

Curvy-shurvy: Pastel punch!!!!

Making that perfect black forest cake!!!


Heya! I love cakes and bakes(anything baked)and always wanted to master the "art of perfect baking",but just could not somehow. I am not very sure for the reason,whether lack of time or motivation or a combination of both. But as you are aware, I was pretty much relaxing at mom's place(my haven)for last couple of weeks and there I randomly told mom that I would like to bake a cake.My li'l niece, all of 5 years, was so excited by the thought of 'bhua' making the cake that I had to "do it" for her. And there was no going back now. Baking was nothing new to me and I was once an 'avid baker' or so,I would like to believe. So,apprehensively I started...... ........and when after half an hour of working(preparation + baking),I very nervously(more nervous than giving viva or awaiting results as the 'judges' here were the little kids, who look upto you) took the tin out. And , voila! Came a perfectly baked chocolate cake. Khushi( my adorable little niece) looked at the cake and then at me, with the most brightly lit eyes, jumped in happiness. I had finally 'passed'. As for the few pictures( I had no time to present it properly as the li'l monsters were dying to take the plunge).

Why every girl should read Sonam Kapoor's open letter about beauty !

Sonam Kapoor, our fashion queen, has always been known to be very vocal and opinionated. She has been slammed quite a f...